George Burns

Ranking: 96th
Biography of George Burns
Search George Burns's quotes

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Quote	Categories	Rating	Rate
"No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible."	Responsibility
"I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate."	Failure, Honesty, Love
"I get a standing ovation jaust standing."	Miscellaneous
"Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left."	Retirement, Sin
"Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere."	Age
"Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years."	Art, Education, School
"I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age."	Age, Men, Women
"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."	Evil, Good, Knowledge
"I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate."	Failure, Happiness, Joy
"Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes. You can't wait to get out -- and you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot."	Happiness, Joy, Time
"Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman-or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle."	Humor
"I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now-I'm booked."	Humor
"The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made."	Art
"Lots of people have asked me what Gracie and I did to make our marriage work. It's simple - we don't do anything. I think the trouble with a lot of people is that they work too hard at staying married. They make a business out of it. When you work too hard at a business you get tired; and when you get tired you get grouchy; and when you get grouchy you start fighting; and when you start fighting you're out of business."	Wisdom
"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."	Age
"Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."	Sex
"I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better."	Writing
"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples."	Economics, Retirement
"Age to me means nothing. I can't get old; I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age."	Age
"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty."	Sex
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Browse George Burns quotes by category:

Age	Art	Economics
Education	Evil	Failure
Family	Good	Happiness
Honesty	Humor	Joy
Knowledge	Love	Men
Miscellaneous	Responsibility	Retirement
School	Sex	Sin
Success	Taxes	Teaching
Time	Truth	Wisdom
Women	Writing