Woody Allen

Ranking: 20th
Biography of Woody Allen
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Quote	Categories	Rating	Rate
"At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Needleman leaned out of his box and fell into the orchestra pit. Too proud to admit it was a mistake, he attended the opera every night for a month and repeated it each time."	Men, Mistakes, Time
"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."	Sin
"Be alert... the world needs more lerts."	God, Stupidity
"Can we actually "know" the universe? My God, it's hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown."	Quotations
"Can we actually "know" the universe? My God, it's hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown."	Humor
"Death should not be seen as the end but as a very effective way to cut down expenses."	God, Stupidity
"Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love."	Sex
"Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down."	Death, Lies
"Eighty percent of success is showing up."	Success
"Eighty percent of success is showing up."	Business
"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"	God, Stupidity
"I am at two with nature."	Nature
"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."	Laughter
"I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, [and] receives new truth as an angel from Heaven."	Faith, Freedom, Honesty
"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland."	Music
"I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear."	God, Stupidity
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."	Accomplishment, Achievement, Death
"I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers."	Education, School, Teaching
"I had an IQ test. The results came back negative."	God, Stupidity
"I tended to place my wife under a pedestal."	Marriage
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Browse Woody Allen quotes by category:

Ability	Accomplishment	Achievement
Age	Anti-God	Art
Atheism	Baseball	Basketball
Business	Choice	Crime
Death	Desires	Dreams
Education	Evil	Excellence
Experience	Failure	Faith
Fear	Freedom	Friendship
God	Good	Happiness
History	Honesty	Hope
Humor	Insults	Intelligence
Joy	Knowledge	Laughter
Liberty	Lies	Life
Love	Marriage	Memory
Men	Military	Miscellaneous
Mistakes	Monarchy	Money
Music	Nature	Patience
Peace	Power	Quotations
Reading	School	Sex
Sin	Sleeping	Stupidity
Success	Teaching	Television
Time	Truth	Wants
War	Wisdom	Wishing
Women