Famous Quotes on Humor

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Quote	Author	Rating	Rate
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."	Fred Allen
"A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted."	Author Unknown
"A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend YOU got bit by a snake. Then start an argument about who's going to get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke."	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't."	Author Unknown
"A great name for a new country song: If I'd Shot You Sooner, I'd Be Out of Jail by Now."	Author Unknown
"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah."	Ronald Reagan
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."	Groucho Marx
"A humorist is a fellow who realizes, first, that he is no better than anybody else, and, second, that nobody else is either."	Homer McLin
"A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow."	Charles Hendrickson Brower
"A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents."	Georg Christopher Lichtenberg
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs -- jolted by every pebble in the road."	Henry Ward Beecher
"A sense of humor … is the ability to understand a joke and that the joke is oneself."	Clifton Paul Fadiman
"A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles."	Mignon McLaughlin
"Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said. 'One can't believe impossible things.' 'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.'"	Lewis Carroll
"All you earnest young men out to save the world … please, have a laugh."	Reinhold Niebuhr
"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh."	Wystan Hugh Auden
"And if I laugh at any mortal thing, This that I may not weep."	George Gordon
"And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!"	Author Unknown
"And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh."	Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
"And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh."	Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
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Abraham Lincoln	Alan Alda	Albert Einstein
Allison Kearney	Amy Grant	Anne Frank
Ann Landers	Anthony Burgess	Aristotle
Arnold H. Glasgow	Author Unknown	Becky Alunan
Bennett Alfred Cerf	Bertolt Brecht	Bill Cosby
Bill Bryson	Bob Newhart	Boy George
B. J. Gupta	Charles De Gaulle	Charles Hendrickson Brower
Clarence Seward Darrow	Clifton Paul Fadiman	Cullen Hightower
Dan Fielding	Dean Koontz	Dick Clark
Dorothy Parker	Douglas Adams	D(avid) H(erbert) Lawrence
Edgar Watson Howe	Edward Albee	Elbert Hubbard
Ellie Katz	Elsa Maxwell	Eric Idle
Erma Louise Bombeck	Ernest Miller Hemingway	Ethel Barrymore
Eugene Lam	Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky	Frank A. Clark
Fred Allen	Freeman John Dyson	Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
George	George Burns	George Carlin
George Barrell Cheever	George Gordon	George Gordon Byron
Georg Christopher Lichtenberg	Gilbert Keith Chesterton	Gloria Steinem
Golda Meir	Gordon William Allport	Groucho Marx
Helen Hayes	Henny Youngman	Henry Ward Beecher
Henry Cate, VII	Henry Elliot	Henry Louis Mencken
Henry Miller	Herbert Gardner	Herman Melville
Hilaire Belloc	Homer McLin	H. G. Mendelson
Isaac Asimov	Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]	Jean de LaBruyere
Jennifer Jones	Johann Wolfgang von Goethe	John Fitzgerald Kennedy
John Gillespie Magee	John Guarrine	John Kenneth Galbraith
Jonathan Carroll	Joseph Addison	Julius Henry Marx
J. M. Linsner	J. Russel Lynes	Kahlil Gibran
Karl Barth	Katharine Houghton Hepburn	Larry Gelbart
Laurie E. Colwin	Lewis Carroll	Louisa May Alcott
Mae West	Mahatma Gandhi	Martin Luther
Max Beerbohm	Max Forrester Eastman	Maya Angelou
Mel Brooks	Mignon McLaughlin	Miguel de Cervantes
Milton Berle	Napolean Bonaparte	Nicolas Chamfort
Niels Henrik David Bohr	Norman Cousins	Orison Swett Marden
Owen Gleiberman	Patricia Hitchcock	Peter's Almanac
Ralph Waldo Emerson	Rebecca West	Reinhold Niebuhr
Rene Descartes	Richard Milhouse Nixon	Robert
Robert Anson Heinlein	Robert Killinger	Robert Lee Frost
Rodney Dangerfield	Romain Gary	Ronald Reagan
Rupert Brooke	Russell Lynes	Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Samuel S. Janus	Shirley MacLaine	Sinclair Lewis
Sir Francis Bacon	Sir Walter Besant	Sri da Avabhas
Stephen Fry	Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort	Terry Cohen
Theodore M. Hesburgh	Umberto Eco	Victor Borge
Victor Hugo	Walter J. Lippmann	William Hazlitt
William Davis	Woody Allen	Wystan Hugh Auden
W(illiam) Somerset Maugham	Zsa Zsa Gabor	(Justin) Brooks Atkinson
(William) Harvey Cox