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George Carlin
:: I would never want to be a mem...
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"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood." -
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George Carlin
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Top 5 quotes from George Carlin
"We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing."
"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."
"I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No Smoking, Stay Off the Grass, Keep Out, and they seem to work fairly well. I think we should also have signs for major crimes: Murder Strictly Prohibited, NO Raping People, Thank You for Not Kidnapping Anyone. It's certainly worth a try. I'm convinced Watergate would never have happened if there had just been a sign in the Oval Office that said, Malfeasance of Office Is Strictly Against the Law, or Thank You for Not Undermining the Constitution."
"I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed."
"I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius."
Top 5 quotes from Religion
"May every young scientist remember... and not fail to keep his eyes open for the possibility that an irritating failure of his apparatus to give consistent results may once or twice in a lifetime conceal an important discovery."
"It is not because angels are holier than men or devils that makes them angels, but because they do not expect holiness from one another, but from God only."
"No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings."
"Love seeketh not Itself to please, Nor for itself hath any care, But for another gives it ease, And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair. "
"Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache; do be my enemy--for friendship's sake."
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