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Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
:: I hope some animal never bores...
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"I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching." -
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Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
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Top 5 quotes from Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts]
"You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of 'accidentally' brand each other every once in a while. It's their way of letting off stress."
"I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?"
"Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?"
"When you first start wearing a turban, probably the most common mistake is wrapping it too tight. You have to allow the head to breathe."
"Let's be honest: Isn't a lot of what we call tap dancing really just nerves?"
Top 5 quotes from Evil, Hope, Wishing
"Always be a little kinder than necessary."
"Happiness sneaks through a door you didn't know that you left open."
"Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God."
"The distinction between children and adults, while probably useful for some purposes, is at bottom a specious one, I feel. There are only individual egos, crazy for love."
"If you have made a mistake, cut your losses as quickly as possible."
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